Well, great job everyone.
We forgot to buy Matt Geiger’s house. The former member of the Miami Heat, Charlotte Hornets and Philadelphia 76ers put his house up for sale four years ago and we totally spaced on it.
The house, which had the asking price of $20 million, was sold for only $8 million through Engel & Völkers Clearwater Realty. EIGHTY PERCENT OFF! And we blew it!
The property is 28 acres and has an artificial lake stocked with 2,500 bass. On top of that, there’s a 330,000 gallon swimming pool with a rock-diving cliff. Oh yeah, and there’s a shark tank.
As for the actual house, it is 28,000 square feet with six bedrooms and eight bathrooms. Inside, there are multiple bars, a gym, a DJ booth (obviously for when Rony Seikaly comes over), a movie theater, some hot tubs, a pizza oven, a wine cellar and a cigar room. The property also has a putting green, a tennis court and a volleyball court.
And I haven’t even mentioned the styling of the house. Since it was made for an NBA player, everything is larger. Doorways, bathrooms, etc are all larger than the average house’s. The interior is eloquent and palatial, featuring rich browns and other warm colors, along with fantastic wood furnishings.
And if that’s not enough, there’s a 5,000 square foot guest house too!
Too bad his farm wasn’t included in the sale; he once had a herd of 12 buffalo, 11 Watusi cattle, two donkeys, a miniature horse and a cow. Geiger also had 40 televisions in the house at one point, with 18 of them being hooked up to Xboxes.
You need more convincing? The house is also part of movie history! Yes, The Punisher had some scenes shot here! Talk about a great movie! — And then you can talk about The Punisher!
But it’s too late. Someone else snatched it up while we just sat on our hands.
Can we still buy Dr. J’s house?
Cardboard Gerald is the Baby Spice of the Stacheketball writing staff and the resident Bobcats fan. You don’t need to feel sorry for him, but you can follow him on Twitter, if you’d like (@CardboardGerald).