Playoff Predictions: Back to the ’80s Edition
Editor’s Note: Today jamjam365 brings you the Stacheketball NBA Playoff Predictions for 2010. Those at the top of the heap are easy to predict, rather, we’re looking at the contentious positions here: the final four seats at the table. We present to you the last four teams who will make the Western Conference playoffs and the four who will miss out — accompanied by a fine dose of themed ’80s music!
Best in the West : Last Four In
Utah Jazz – “All that Jazz” (not Bob Fosse Edition)
Did not improve at trade deadline. Loss of Maynor and Brewer affects the depth, they will fall behind the Suns. Best case scenario; veteran coaching plus Williams’ skill makes them a late bloomer.
Oklahoma City Thunder – “Movin on Up” (Retro Remake Mix)
Keep their hold on sixth spot and will be a tough matchup. Durant will probably finish third in the MVP race, and by all rights (and stats alone) he should really be a strong second instead of distant third. Worst case scenario: a case of youth jitters takes them down the board and they face a matchup with LALakers.
San Antonio Spurs – “So Tough to Say Goodbye to Yesterday” (Boyz2Men Still Picture Edit)
Parker, oft-injured; Ginobli, usually-injured; and Duncan, awesome, but still old, old. Bring back the old days, they wish…..
Portland Trailblazers – Portland, Orgeon and Slow Gin Fizz (Loretta Lynn – Jack White duet)
A couple of shots of something strong, and maybe the Blazers will think they belong….. (Before all the hate mail of Blazers fans having their tizzies, they could have fallen out of the playoffs just like the Grizzlies). OK, OK, so the video is not from the 80s… you try finding a video about Portland AND going into a slow tailspin. On the plus side, though, Portland’s rebounding has really looked up lately. Their depth and matchup problems could trouble Denver if they could move into the #7 seed.
Best in the West : Last 4 Out
Houston Rockets – “All My Exes live in Texas” (The 20-yr-old Hee Haw? bales of Hay live version)
Ex-stars Yao Ming and Tracy McGrady (now of the Knicks) have not assisted, but Houston has come closer than you’d think. Best chance: If Spurs’ age sinks them and Houston’s new acquisition Martin starts shooting lights-out… otherwise turn out the lights.
Memphis Grizzlies — ” Save My Life I’m Going Down (for the last time)”
Ironically, the song is by “Head East”, and if the Grizzlies were in the Eastern Conference they’d probably be the #7 seed. Their last best hope: start playing at home as if they were on the road; and that Brewer brings more toughness.
New Orleans Hornets –”The unexpected Collison remix”
Quick Question: How is the Hornets’ season ending like Peter and Mary? Answer: No Paul. Seriously, just tough, tough luck for the Hornets. With West out for some of the year and Paul out for the stretch run they are just not going to make it.
Los Angeles Clippers – Missing the playoffs again, (Just Another Day Without You – Blake Griffin miss you edition)
They were gone a long time ago. But if the current runner-ups cannot serve out their term; Clippers would be the last out. It’s a team full of talent and empty of intangibles. You can’t help wondering if they would’ve traded Zach Randolph if they had forseen the devastating injury to Blake Griffin. Unless I’m mistaken, besides Derrick Rose it’s been five years since the first pick has won rookie of the year. The streak continues. The Clippers’ best hope: Chris Kaman and others play like they’re not on long-term contracts and go on huge winning streak.
We will have the Eastern conference predictions for you in a couple of days…
